slow ride

As the world these days seemingly begins to spin faster & faster, I find the desire to go even slower. 

I exist in a world that values the hustle over the connection & the understanding of ourselves. 

The understanding of ourselves & the connections we have with each other. We are trained to be wildly disconnected from our bodies and not given the time to process our emotions. We don’t have the time to understand what our bodies and our souls and our minds are trying to tell us when we have shit to do. We’re busy. Seriously, have you seen my calendar?

I want to wake up slowly with plenty of time to take care of myself before I do anything else. 

I want to watch as my favorite coffee brews into the pot as the smell overtakes my nose. I desire to take in the rising of the sun every morning, appreciating the blends of the colors and wispiness of the surrounding clouds. I want to be surrounded by the music booming from my record player. I want to dance. I want to feel & listen to what nature, the birds and the windchimes want to tell me before I begin my days. 

I desire everything I do & everything I have, to be intentional. It helps give meaning to my life. It gives everything I do and everything I have, a reason. It places me here, in this lifetime. These reasons spark happiness in my soul, and I want to go slow enough to be able to enjoy these things every time. A gift. The present.

In a world that values the nobility of sacrificing yourself (understandably so) and keeping yourself busy - Please know these things. 

Being busy does not equate to being healed. 

Being busy and filling your time with distractions like work, or self medicating with things like tasking, religion, sex, or clinging to the energy of other people to feed your own does not mean you are healing yourself. 

Once you become concerned with the loss of your own time,

Perhaps then, 

You’ll stop living someone else’s life 

& run towards the one that feels right in your chest. 

The version that feeds your desire to live.